Parenting Tip
Understanding Why We Get Angry
One of the helpful steps in helping children control their anger is to recognize four causes of anger. After children have settled down and you debrief with them about their anger, talk about what’s causing it. You and your child may see patterns and then be able to head off the problem earlier next time.
1) Blocked Goals. This is the kind of thing that happens to you, as a parent, when you want to do a project in the playroom and find that Billy has left his Legos all over the floor and you keep stepping on them. Or, Billy may want to play with his train set only to find that his sister is using it first. These are blocked goals.
2) Violated Rights. That’s when you, as a parent, are in the bathroom and your daughter keeps knocking on the door. You believe you have the right to go to the bathroom in peace. Your daughter may get angry because her brother came into her room and took her favorite CD. Those are violated rights.
3) Unmet Expectations. You had expected that when you got home you would be able to rest but instead you find a big mess. Or Jackie thought she would be going to McDonalds but instead you chose to go to Pizza Hut. Those are unmet expectations.
4) Experiencing Unfairness. When someone takes a toy from a younger child, you may feel angry as a parent because you see unfairness. Or, Tom may feel angry with his teacher because she picked someone else for a privilege he thought he deserved. Those unfair situations can provoke anger.
Whatever the situation, after a child has settled down, talk about the cause. Discuss the value of sacrificing rights, readjusting goals or expectations, and handling unfairness in a godly way. By examining the causes of anger, you can help children gain greater perspective and develop longer lasting strategies for managing their emotions.
For more ideas about helping children deal with anger, consider the CD set, Eight Secrets to Highly Effective Parenting, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. The plan is also sold separately on an individual CD entitled, Helping Children Deal with Anger.
Parenting Tip
Understanding Why We Get Angry
One of the helpful steps in helping children control their anger is to recognize four causes of anger. After children have settled down and you debrief with them about their anger, talk about what’s causing it. You and your child may see patterns and then be able to head off the problem earlier next time.
1) Blocked Goals. This is the kind of thing that happens to you, as a parent, when you want to do a project in the playroom and find that Billy has left his Legos all over the floor and you keep stepping on them. Or, Billy may want to play with his train set only to find that his sister is using it first. These are blocked goals.
2) Violated Rights. That’s when you, as a parent, are in the bathroom and your daughter keeps knocking on the door. You believe you have the right to go to the bathroom in peace. Your daughter may get angry because her brother came into her room and took her favorite CD. Those are violated rights.
3) Unmet Expectations. You had expected that when you got home you would be able to rest but instead you find a big mess. Or Jackie thought she would be going to McDonalds but instead you chose to go to Pizza Hut. Those are unmet expectations.
4) Experiencing Unfairness. When someone takes a toy from a younger child, you may feel angry as a parent because you see unfairness. Or, Tom may feel angry with his teacher because she picked someone else for a privilege he thought he deserved. Those unfair situations can provoke anger.
Whatever the situation, after a child has settled down, talk about the cause. Discuss the value of sacrificing rights, readjusting goals or expectations, and handling unfairness in a godly way. By examining the causes of anger, you can help children gain greater perspective and develop longer lasting strategies for managing their emotions.
For more ideas about helping children deal with anger, consider the CD set, Eight Secrets to Highly Effective Parenting, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. The plan is also sold separately on an individual CD entitled, Helping Children Deal with Anger.
Teaching Character to Three-Year-Olds
Different character qualities can be emphasized at different developmental stages. A newborn, for example, learns about love, trust, and a positive view of the world because of the loving care given by parents.
As children grow and develop, new character qualities are added to the picture. Preschoolers are at a strategic age to learn so much about life. Creativity, compassion, patience, confidence, and cooperation are just a few of the many new qualities that begin to develop during these years.
Two character qualities, in particular, become a focus in the parent/child relationship: Self-discipline and responsiveness to authority. But please don’t think that teaching these qualities requires harshness, demandingness, or an authoritarian approach. Rather, these qualities can be taught with a loving firmness that prepares children for greater success in life.
Preschoolers learn self-discipline skills by coming when called instead of running away. These children also learn about a bedtime and how to hold a parent’s hand in a store or out in public. Children resist these attempts to help them learn to give up their agenda, but that’s what self-discipline is all about. Even adults resist a diet, staying on a budget, or an exercise program. If we can teach children self-discipline when they’re preschoolers, they’ll begin to develop significant tools for when they get older.
Talk about self-discipline with preschoolers. They may not understand the term yet, but they’ll grow into it. We can teach self-discipline through a number of family rules. When we go into a store, we have the “No Touch Rule.” When in a library or bank, we may use the “Don’t be Wild Rule.” When you first teach rules like these, start by making them fun. Teach the rules like a game, then put them into practice in life and enforce the new rules with repetition and practice.
“But my kids won’t do these things,” you may say. And maybe they won’t unless you practice. But the preschool years are an excellent time to build some character qualities that will last a long time in a child’s life.
This parenting tip is from the book Home Improvement: The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Teaching Character to Three-Year-Olds
Different character qualities can be emphasized at different developmental stages. A newborn, for example, learns about love, trust, and a positive view of the world because of the loving care given by parents.
As children grow and develop, new character qualities are added to the picture. Preschoolers are at a strategic age to learn so much about life. Creativity, compassion, patience, confidence, and cooperation are just a few of the many new qualities that begin to develop during these years.
Two character qualities, in particular, become a focus in the parent/child relationship: Self-discipline and responsiveness to authority. But please don’t think that teaching these qualities requires harshness, demandingness, or an authoritarian approach. Rather, these qualities can be taught with a loving firmness that prepares children for greater success in life.
Preschoolers learn self-discipline skills by coming when called instead of running away. These children also learn about a bedtime and how to hold a parent’s hand in a store or out in public. Children resist these attempts to help them learn to give up their agenda, but that’s what self-discipline is all about. Even adults resist a diet, staying on a budget, or an exercise program. If we can teach children self-discipline when they’re preschoolers, they’ll begin to develop significant tools for when they get older.
Talk about self-discipline with preschoolers. They may not understand the term yet, but they’ll grow into it. We can teach self-discipline through a number of family rules. When we go into a store, we have the “No Touch Rule.” When in a library or bank, we may use the “Don’t be Wild Rule.” When you first teach rules like these, start by making them fun. Teach the rules like a game, then put them into practice in life and enforce the new rules with repetition and practice.
“But my kids won’t do these things,” you may say. And maybe they won’t unless you practice. But the preschool years are an excellent time to build some character qualities that will last a long time in a child’s life.
This parenting tip is from the book Home Improvement: The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Friends Day! It’s THIS SUNDAY, September 21.
Reminder to G-Force kids: Bring your friends this Sunday (it’s week 3 of ‘Fear Knot’) and earn a chance to get family passes to the Halloween Family Festival for both you and your friend!
We’ll draw the winning names at the Shoreline Kids Staff meeting on Monday morning. SEE YOU SUNDAY!
Friends Day! It’s THIS SUNDAY, September 21.
Reminder to G-Force kids: Bring your friends this Sunday (it’s week 3 of ‘Fear Knot’) and earn a chance to get family passes to the Halloween Family Festival for both you and your friend!
We’ll draw the winning names at the Shoreline Kids Staff meeting on Monday morning. SEE YOU SUNDAY!
Launch Pad will be launching THIS THURSDAY, August 28th at 6:15pm in the “G-Force” room with the awesome new series, ”Why?”. Childcare is available for $5.00 per child. RSVP with child(ren)’s name and age.
The “Why” series is a six week focus on apologetics and evangelism and takes participants on a journey through six of life’s biggest questions. Insights from award-winning apologists reach deep inside the hearts of seekers while giving believers new found ability to defend the Christian faith. For diverse study groups, it provides an incredible solution to the inherent conflict of teaching believers to spread God’s Word while including seekers in the study. Participants experience incredible growth as they reach out to others both inside and outside the church.
To access the “G-Force” room, enter through the main doors facing Garden Road.
Materials will be available at the Thursday night session and at the Shoreline bookstore!
For more information, contact Robin Maguire at rmaguire@shorelinechurch.org or 655.0100 ext. 302.
Launch Pad will be launching THIS THURSDAY, August 28th at 6:15pm in the “G-Force” room with the awesome new series, ”Why?”. Childcare is available for $5.00 per child. RSVP with child(ren)’s name and age.
The “Why” series is a six week focus on apologetics and evangelism and takes participants on a journey through six of life’s biggest questions. Insights from award-winning apologists reach deep inside the hearts of seekers while giving believers new found ability to defend the Christian faith. For diverse study groups, it provides an incredible solution to the inherent conflict of teaching believers to spread God’s Word while including seekers in the study. Participants experience incredible growth as they reach out to others both inside and outside the church.
To access the “G-Force” room, enter through the main doors facing Garden Road.
Materials will be available at the Thursday night session and at the Shoreline bookstore!
For more information, contact Robin Maguire at rmaguire@shorelinechurch.org or 655.0100 ext. 302.
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Attention parents of kinds in grades 1-6: Don’t miss Summer Surge 2008 at Shoreline Community Church, July 7-11 from 9 am-12 pm. Sign-up today at the Children’s Table upstairs. For more information, please contact Shelly Houseman at 737-5701 or e-mail shelly@shorelinechurch.org .
< Attention parents of kinds in grades 1-6: Don’t miss Summer Surge 2008 at Shoreline Community Church, July 7-11 from 9 am-12 pm. Sign-up today at the Children’s Table upstairs. For more information, please contact Shelly Houseman at 737-5701 or e-mail shelly@shorelinechurch.org .
