Parenting Tip
September 9, 2010
Problem Solving and Decision Making
How do your children handle problems and decisions? Some children whine, complain, and have bad attitudes. However, problems and decisions make great opportunities to teach children how to face life’s challenges.
Families make decisions and solve problems on a daily basis. Parents must make some decisions, and in those cases children need to learn to follow. At other times parents can involve children and teach them to make wise choices.
Developing good decision-making skills gives children the ability to define a problem, imagine consequences of various alternatives, and then choose the best solution among the options. Allowing children to solve some problems for themselves communicates honor to them. It says, “I believe in you. You have what it takes.”
Sometimes parents solve problems for children to help them avoid frustration. Be careful that you don’t rob your children of learning experiences. Frustration can be a great teacher and can motivate children into new areas. You then can be the counselor or coach as life teaches a valuable lesson.
Don’t be too quick to solve a problem or make a decision for your kids. Involve children in the process, not just in the final product. Much of the day-to-day problem-solving and decision-making in family life can demonstrate cooperation and teamwork as parents and children work together. Cooperative decision-making teaches children valuable skills of negotiation, compromise, communication, and creating alternatives. Mutual honor is demonstrated in the midst of cooperation.
Parenting Tip
September 9, 2010
Problem Solving and Decision Making
How do your children handle problems and decisions? Some children whine, complain, and have bad attitudes. However, problems and decisions make great opportunities to teach children how to face life’s challenges.
Families make decisions and solve problems on a daily basis. Parents must make some decisions, and in those cases children need to learn to follow. At other times parents can involve children and teach them to make wise choices.
Developing good decision-making skills gives children the ability to define a problem, imagine consequences of various alternatives, and then choose the best solution among the options. Allowing children to solve some problems for themselves communicates honor to them. It says, “I believe in you. You have what it takes.”
Sometimes parents solve problems for children to help them avoid frustration. Be careful that you don’t rob your children of learning experiences. Frustration can be a great teacher and can motivate children into new areas. You then can be the counselor or coach as life teaches a valuable lesson.
Don’t be too quick to solve a problem or make a decision for your kids. Involve children in the process, not just in the final product. Much of the day-to-day problem-solving and decision-making in family life can demonstrate cooperation and teamwork as parents and children work together. Cooperative decision-making teaches children valuable skills of negotiation, compromise, communication, and creating alternatives. Mutual honor is demonstrated in the midst of cooperation.
August 30, 2010
Honor Defined in Practical Terms
Children need to know what Godly character looks like in practical terms. We love the character quality of honor, not just because God commands it, but also because it has so much rich meaning for parents and children. It can give direction in many of the frustrating moments we experience in family life. In fact, every form of selfishness has an honor-based solution.
We say honor is…
Treating people as special,
Doing more than what’s expected,
And having a good attitude.
Use our honor definition or make up your own. The point is that honor changes people. It changes the way that parents relate to their children, the way children relate to each other, and the way children relate to their parents. We all need it.
You can use the concept of honor in correction or when things are going well. You can use it when you teach your children about money, time, and other resources, and you can teach it when conflict comes around. One of the best ways to teach it is on special occasions when someone wins a contest or earns a certificate. You may show honor by giving that person a fancy place at the table or by decorating his or her bedroom door.
Honor is fun. It’s like oil in a machine. It gets work done with less friction and less heat. Every family needs honor. It’s great when things are going well and essential when family relationships are strained. You can work on honor whether your kids are preschoolers or teens. It will change the way your family relates.
August 30, 2010
Honor Defined in Practical Terms
Children need to know what Godly character looks like in practical terms. We love the character quality of honor, not just because God commands it, but also because it has so much rich meaning for parents and children. It can give direction in many of the frustrating moments we experience in family life. In fact, every form of selfishness has an honor-based solution.
We say honor is…
Treating people as special,
Doing more than what’s expected,
And having a good attitude.
Use our honor definition or make up your own. The point is that honor changes people. It changes the way that parents relate to their children, the way children relate to each other, and the way children relate to their parents. We all need it.
You can use the concept of honor in correction or when things are going well. You can use it when you teach your children about money, time, and other resources, and you can teach it when conflict comes around. One of the best ways to teach it is on special occasions when someone wins a contest or earns a certificate. You may show honor by giving that person a fancy place at the table or by decorating his or her bedroom door.
Honor is fun. It’s like oil in a machine. It gets work done with less friction and less heat. Every family needs honor. It’s great when things are going well and essential when family relationships are strained. You can work on honor whether your kids are preschoolers or teens. It will change the way your family relates.
We have great news for parents with young children! We have a small group that meets every other Sunday at 5:30 p.m. here at Shoreline Community Church. This is a group of parents with young children who meet for a meal, fellowship, and discussion time. The parents bring their children with them to the group, and our hired Shoreline childcare workers watch the kids while the parents attend the study. This provides the opportunity for parents to have the important time that they need to fellowship with other adults and grow deeper in their relationships with Christ. If you are interested in joining a small group that offers childcare or if you would simply like further information, please contact Jillian or call 831.655.0100.
We have great news for parents with young children! We have a small group that meets every other Sunday at 5:30 p.m. here at Shoreline Community Church. This is a group of parents with young children who meet for a meal, fellowship, and discussion time. The parents bring their children with them to the group, and our hired Shoreline childcare workers watch the kids while the parents attend the study. This provides the opportunity for parents to have the important time that they need to fellowship with other adults and grow deeper in their relationships with Christ. If you are interested in joining a small group that offers childcare or if you would simply like further information, please contact Jillian or call 831.655.0100.
Understanding Obedience
We live in a society where an emphasis on teaching obedience sounds to some like heavy-handed authoritarianism. Parents don’t want to be dictators so they sometimes move far away from anything that looks like being controlling. This is unfortunate since God is the one who gave the instructions for children to learn obedience. Hidden within this quality are the principles that will make children successful as they get older.
When children learn to obey they learn to give up their own agenda for someone else. They learn to listen to an instruction and follow through with it. They learn how to be responsible, check back, and complete a task. In short, when children learn obedience, they not only make family life easier but they also develop the character that will make them more valuable in the work place, the community, and the world. In fact, learning to obey parents teaches kids what they need in order to obey God.
We say that obedience is “doing what someone says, right away, without being reminded.” Children as young as three years old can memorize this simple definition and understand what it means. Parents sometimes think that obedience is the same as compliance. When a parent says, “I can get my children to obey eventually,” that’s not obedience. Compliance is only part of obedience. When you say to your son, “It is time to go to bed now,” and he says, “As soon as I’m done with this game,” that’s not obedience; it’s an excuse for disobedience.
As parents, it’s okay to negotiate and compromise with our children sometimes, but too often children aren’t mature enough for this. In fact, they are demanding, unable to give up their agenda for someone else. Cooperation requires that both people give and take. In order to get to that stage, children must first learn how to sacrifice or follow. Once they learn that, true cooperation can take place.
Teach obedience and you will give your children a valuable gift that will be used for the rest of their lives.
Understanding Obedience
We live in a society where an emphasis on teaching obedience sounds to some like heavy-handed authoritarianism. Parents don’t want to be dictators so they sometimes move far away from anything that looks like being controlling. This is unfortunate since God is the one who gave the instructions for children to learn obedience. Hidden within this quality are the principles that will make children successful as they get older.
When children learn to obey they learn to give up their own agenda for someone else. They learn to listen to an instruction and follow through with it. They learn how to be responsible, check back, and complete a task. In short, when children learn obedience, they not only make family life easier but they also develop the character that will make them more valuable in the work place, the community, and the world. In fact, learning to obey parents teaches kids what they need in order to obey God.
We say that obedience is “doing what someone says, right away, without being reminded.” Children as young as three years old can memorize this simple definition and understand what it means. Parents sometimes think that obedience is the same as compliance. When a parent says, “I can get my children to obey eventually,” that’s not obedience. Compliance is only part of obedience. When you say to your son, “It is time to go to bed now,” and he says, “As soon as I’m done with this game,” that’s not obedience; it’s an excuse for disobedience.
As parents, it’s okay to negotiate and compromise with our children sometimes, but too often children aren’t mature enough for this. In fact, they are demanding, unable to give up their agenda for someone else. Cooperation requires that both people give and take. In order to get to that stage, children must first learn how to sacrifice or follow. Once they learn that, true cooperation can take place.
Teach obedience and you will give your children a valuable gift that will be used for the rest of their lives.
Anchor Bay is looking for several people to step in to volunteer in The Reef which are 3 year olds – 1st grade and The Cove 2nd-5th grade. Training, fun, and friendship are part of the job!
You can fill out an application online or pick one up in the children’s area on Sunday morning or during the week. References will be checked and fingerprinting is required.
We think our volunteers are fantastic! They are playing a huge role in the spiritual development of future generations. Come on board and become one of our Fantastic Teammates! You will be blessed beyond belief!
If you need more information contact Reef Coordinator, Nikki Belanger at 831.383.0198 or Coordinator of The Cove, Norma Huey at 831.655.0100, x304 or 831.233.2604.
Anchor Bay is looking for several people to step in to volunteer in The Reef which are 3 year olds – 1st grade and The Cove 2nd-5th grade. Training, fun, and friendship are part of the job!
You can fill out an application online or pick one up in the children’s area on Sunday morning or during the week. References will be checked and fingerprinting is required.
We think our volunteers are fantastic! They are playing a huge role in the spiritual development of future generations. Come on board and become one of our Fantastic Teammates! You will be blessed beyond belief!
If you need more information contact Reef Coordinator, Nikki Belanger at 831.383.0198 or Coordinator of The Cove, Norma Huey at 831.655.0100, x304 or 831.233.2604.
