Parenting Insight You Can Use Now
Heart moments are what parents long for. The fourteen-year-old who cleans up the kitchen just to see the delight on your face. The eight-year-old who cries that repentant cry when he truly realizes the seriousness of his disobedience. The four-year-old who gives you that big hug and says, “You’re the best mommy in the whole world!”
All of these are heart moments and they not only remind us of the value of parenting, but also they give us encouragement continue on. Sometimes heart moments happen after weeks and months of hard work. Other times they come more spontaneously. No matter what brought the heart moment on, you want to be ready for it.
Pray daily that God would help you be ready. Be sure to take advantage of opportunities with your kids. Those opportunities may be when you’re driving in the car, or when your child has just had an emotional experience. Be ready. Time and emotions are two of the things that open up the heart. Look for ways to connect and watch what God will do.
This concept is explained more fully of the book, Family Heart Moments, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Parenting Insight You Can Use Now
Heart moments are what parents long for. The fourteen-year-old who cleans up the kitchen just to see the delight on your face. The eight-year-old who cries that repentant cry when he truly realizes the seriousness of his disobedience. The four-year-old who gives you that big hug and says, “You’re the best mommy in the whole world!”
All of these are heart moments and they not only remind us of the value of parenting, but also they give us encouragement continue on. Sometimes heart moments happen after weeks and months of hard work. Other times they come more spontaneously. No matter what brought the heart moment on, you want to be ready for it.
Pray daily that God would help you be ready. Be sure to take advantage of opportunities with your kids. Those opportunities may be when you’re driving in the car, or when your child has just had an emotional experience. Be ready. Time and emotions are two of the things that open up the heart. Look for ways to connect and watch what God will do.
This concept is explained more fully of the book, Family Heart Moments, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
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Parenting Tip
April 21, 2009
Some Tips for Helping Kids Deal with Anger
Anger damages relationships. We help parents every week in our office deal with anger in their families. Here are several guidelines we’ve found helpful for anger management in a home. When parents and kids work on these things, anger episodes are reduced. Make these a regular part of your routine and you’ll see tremendous progress.
1. Never argue with children who are angry. Have them take a break and continue the conversation later.
2. Identify the anger cues that reveal your child is about to lose control. Point them out early and stop the interaction. Don’t wait for explosions before you intervene.
3. Help children recognize anger in its various disguises like a bad attitude, grumbling, glaring, or a harsh tone of voice.
4. Debrief after the child has settled down. Talk about how to handle the situation differently next time.
5. Teach children constructive responses. They could get help, talk about it, or walk away. These kinds of suggestions help children to have a plan for what they should do, not just what they shouldn’t do.
6. When angry words or actions hurt others, individuals should apologize and seek forgiveness.
By doing these things you will teach your children to do what James 1:19 says, “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
This parenting tip comes from a chapter on sibling conflict in the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
• • • • •
Parenting Tip
April 21, 2009
Some Tips for Helping Kids Deal with Anger
Anger damages relationships. We help parents every week in our office deal with anger in their families. Here are several guidelines we’ve found helpful for anger management in a home. When parents and kids work on these things, anger episodes are reduced. Make these a regular part of your routine and you’ll see tremendous progress.
1. Never argue with children who are angry. Have them take a break and continue the conversation later.
2. Identify the anger cues that reveal your child is about to lose control. Point them out early and stop the interaction. Don’t wait for explosions before you intervene.
3. Help children recognize anger in its various disguises like a bad attitude, grumbling, glaring, or a harsh tone of voice.
4. Debrief after the child has settled down. Talk about how to handle the situation differently next time.
5. Teach children constructive responses. They could get help, talk about it, or walk away. These kinds of suggestions help children to have a plan for what they should do, not just what they shouldn’t do.
6. When angry words or actions hurt others, individuals should apologize and seek forgiveness.
By doing these things you will teach your children to do what James 1:19 says, “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
This parenting tip comes from a chapter on sibling conflict in the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
• • • • •
Parenting Tip
February 20, 2009
Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Sometimes children obey but they do it with a bad attitude. Honor is the solution. It’s important to teach children what honor looks like in very practical terms. One mom defined attitude as “the heart of how you do something.” Obedience is revealed in actions. Honor is revealed in the attitude that goes along with those actions.
Often a bad attitude comes from an angry heart. Imagine an onion with various layers. As you peel off one layer you see another and another until you get to the center of the onion. Anger is like that. The most obvious signs of anger are physical violence. Hitting, slamming, kicking, and biting are all ways that anger is demonstrated.
As children learn to control their physical reactions, they peel off that layer revealing the next one: hurtful words through sarcasm, teasing, and cynical remarks. These less physical but deadly weapons are another symptom of anger.
Layer after layer of angry responses can be removed until you come to a very significant one: the bad attitude. Children don’t want to go to bed, clean up their rooms, leave the computer, or get on their shoes. You’re interrupting their lives by giving an instruction or by correcting or by saying no. Thus you get anger revealed in a bad attitude.
By recognizing this you will take the first important step toward change—you’ll see the problem. You won’t be content to get a job done with a bad attitude because now you’ll see the importance of addressing the attitude as well as the behavior. You might say to your son, “Wait a minute. Your attitude here is a problem. I’d like you to sit down for a bit and settle down and then let’s look for a better way to respond. When you’re ready to try a different response then we’ll continue.”
Explain to your children the value of a good attitude and the danger of a negative attitude on the job or at school. A good attitude is important and your interaction at home is a great place to start working on it.
For more ideas on teaching honor in your family, you’ll want to consider the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN, BSN.
• • • • •
Parenting Tip
February 20, 2009
Where a Bad Attitude Comes From
Sometimes children obey but they do it with a bad attitude. Honor is the solution. It’s important to teach children what honor looks like in very practical terms. One mom defined attitude as “the heart of how you do something.” Obedience is revealed in actions. Honor is revealed in the attitude that goes along with those actions.
Often a bad attitude comes from an angry heart. Imagine an onion with various layers. As you peel off one layer you see another and another until you get to the center of the onion. Anger is like that. The most obvious signs of anger are physical violence. Hitting, slamming, kicking, and biting are all ways that anger is demonstrated.
As children learn to control their physical reactions, they peel off that layer revealing the next one: hurtful words through sarcasm, teasing, and cynical remarks. These less physical but deadly weapons are another symptom of anger.
Layer after layer of angry responses can be removed until you come to a very significant one: the bad attitude. Children don’t want to go to bed, clean up their rooms, leave the computer, or get on their shoes. You’re interrupting their lives by giving an instruction or by correcting or by saying no. Thus you get anger revealed in a bad attitude.
By recognizing this you will take the first important step toward change—you’ll see the problem. You won’t be content to get a job done with a bad attitude because now you’ll see the importance of addressing the attitude as well as the behavior. You might say to your son, “Wait a minute. Your attitude here is a problem. I’d like you to sit down for a bit and settle down and then let’s look for a better way to respond. When you’re ready to try a different response then we’ll continue.”
Explain to your children the value of a good attitude and the danger of a negative attitude on the job or at school. A good attitude is important and your interaction at home is a great place to start working on it.
For more ideas on teaching honor in your family, you’ll want to consider the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN, BSN.
